Being right is more important to me than my dignity. If I know that I’m right I will make a complete ass out of myself to prove it to people who really don’t care. When I was in Mr. Peddy’s sixth grade class we had a history quiz/test/something like that. I think it was only a 10 question test and I got a 90. I was robbed; I walked from his desk straight to my cubby and started going through that history book page by page with tears running down my fat face. When I finally found the answer that I knew I had been right about I stormed up to his desk, pushing through the students crowded around it, and slammed the book down in front of his face. I pointed at the sentence that I knew would clear my good name, a name that this man had just dragged through the mud, all while tears are still running down my fat face. This didn’t go as well for me as you might think. Apparently, teachers don’t like being told that they are wrong and they certainly don’t like you to throw books at them.
This is just one of many many examples of such asinine behavior, although after sixth grade the stories aren’t about school work because I stopped caring about grades and started caring about girls (not that the girls ever paid much attention to me). Don’t misunderstand me here, if I’m wrong about something I’ll admit it, apologize for it and feel like an ass. I don’t know where this compulsion comes from that makes me blind to everything else around me. I’m constantly arguing when I feel like I’m in the right and most of the time it’s about stupid things that don’t matter to anyone else but me. I just want to understand why my brain can’t just let the little things go. I mean seriously, I lose sleep over this nonsense.
A year ago I got a promotion that put me in charge of the people that are doing the same job I’ve been doing for the past 8 years. Along with that responsibility I was also given a whole new set of my own responsibilities. I’ve had to learn how to deal with the people under me as well as how to deal with the ones that are over me, and I think that it has almost killed me. I started out not being a people person but have forced myself to try to act like I am. I don’t know how well it’s going; I have my doubts about my abilities to handle this stress. I don’t know why but in my head I want things to be even and fair , and though my entire life I’ve been told that life isn’t fair I still want it to be.
Basically, I’m always fighting with myself about the way I should be acting and most of the time good sense loses.
Eric Anderson
love it.
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