Eric and The Multiple Topics

                Well, that was it; I’ve run out of things to talk about.  I’ve built the last few topics up in my head for such a long time and now I’m empty.  It feels pretty good to be done with them for now anyway; maybe I can start working on something new. Maybe not, I guess we’ll see.  Let’s see how long I can make this post about having nothing to say.

                I have sleep apnea, I’ve been sleeping with a CPAP machine for about 10 months now and it has completely changed the way my days go.  I know that many people point to my being overweight as the reason for the sleep apnea (mostly just my doctor), but I think I’ve had it my entire life.  My mom said even when I was a baby It freaked her out so much she had to put me in the other room so she could sleep, we just never did anything about it until it got so bad I was pretty sure my heart was going to stop in my sleep.  I used to fall asleep during movies, even movies I was really excited to see, sometimes in the theater.  I would pass out during meetings, driving, watching TV, and anything else you can think of where sleeping would be inappropriate.  I was watching iCarly last night (what? Don’t judge that show’s hilarious) and Carly was sleeping with the exact same breathing mask I use.  She’s not fat, and yes I know it’s only a television show, but I know several other quite skinny people who have sleep apnea.  It sucks not being able to stay awake even when your job pretty much depends on it.  If you’re wondering if the mask is annoying or hard to sleep with, for me it isn’t, for me it is the awesomest thing that science has ever done for me.

                Onto a different topic altogether, I had mentioned in the post “Eric and The Questions” that I was afraid that some of the crazy thoughts that came into my head could possibly offend God.  Valerie commented yesterday that nothing I can think of will offend God because that would make me greater than God, and quite obviously I’m not.  This may sound simple but it blew my mindhole.  So I know that there is nothing I can think of that He hasn’t already thought of but my concern is more about whether or not I should entertain these thoughts or dismiss them and repent.  God knows the intent of my heart, probably better than I do myself.  This is a profound revelation to me but I don’t quite know what to do with it just yet.  I kind of feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest.  I don’t know, I need to think on this for a while.

                Final topic, I swear, this blog has been like free therapy for me, I know it’s been whiney and depressing and I’m sorry but whiney and depressing is where I live 75% of the time.  Writing these issues has helped me kind of see what they are.  I don’t know why but sometimes I don’t realize what’s wrong with me until I’ve written it.

                So this is a lot of words for someone who doesn’t have anything to say.  Later

Eric Anderson